I’m not a sock person

I only wear socks in the winter.  I find new ways to ruin socks.  But I love sock yarn.  A lot.

Socks are to keep your toes from getting frostbite.  That being said, I don’t have many heavy pairs.  When they get wet I throw them on the radiator at the office and promptly forget about them.  I don’t wear them at home, even when my feet are freezing.  I don’t wear them with sneakers in the spring/summer/fall.  Yes, I give a new meaning to stinky sneakers, I don’t care.

I’ve gotten black smudges on my socks, I’ve spilled ice coffee on my socks (while wearing them, and yes I drink ice coffee in the winter), and I’ve gotten holes in the toes of my socks, but that seems fairly common to most people.

Sock yarn is wonderful.  It has a lot of yardage, comes in crazy speckled colors and it’s squishy.  I love it.  To overcome “I don’t wear socks” and still use sock yarn, I’ve made more shawls than I can wear in this lifetime, I knit sweaters on size US 2 needles, I’ve recently taken to making Stephen West patterns holding 2 strands of yarn together.  It’s all appeased my appetite for using sock yarn.  Until now.

What’s changed?  I found a couple of nice sock patterns.  And I discovered the Addi Flexi Flips.  I really like them and I want to try them on a sock, not just Robbie, the hippo’s, snout.  Now, I’ve made socks before, I made my first pair toe-up with black yarn and short row toes and heels.  Yup, it was hard to see and it was my first time doing short rows.  They actually fit.  I had also made 3 sock/booties (not pairs, 3 socks, the first was wonky) that my Aunt took to wear when it’s cold in her house.  She lives in Florida.  She wears them.  I don’t get it.  Anyway, it even hit me that I even knitted socks as the feet for the Arne & Carlos dolls I had made.  I didn’t know they were socks till I had started the leg.  Sneaky things.

Now I want to make Andrea Mowry’s Fluorite socks from Pom Pom Quarterly Issue 23.


What could be better than getting to use 7 different colors and make a gradient simultaneously?  Nothing in the yarn world if you ask me.  But I do have two issues preventing me from casting on this moment.  I don’t have US 1 or US 0 Flexi Flips.  I also don’t have any gradient yarn.  I heard that gasp.  What I do have is a strange purple colored sock yarn A gave me.  She thought it was an odd shade of purple so I rehomed it for her.  Give me your off-colored and textured yarn and I will squash it into my china cabinet.  Yes, Fun Fur is welcome too.

My idea, which I haven’t completely thought through and should ask for A’s opinion first before I do something I regret:

I will dye my own mini skeins.  Lots of them.  Now, let’s do some math.

The pattern calls for 7 mini skeins of 218 yards each, so each sock would need half, which is 109 yards.

I have a large Niddy Noddy at home.  It’s easier for me to cut a piece of foam board.  Okay, now 1 yard = 1 wrap.  That’s math I can handle.  I think.

Great, I forgot what I was trying to figure out…

I have to think in knitting terms:

Next Project: (7 mini skeins x 109 yards) twice = 2 matching socks


Do I have enough yarn?  The purple skein is 480 yards + 166 yards of some white Patons I just uncovered.  480+166=646 yards.  The pattern: 7×218=1,526 yards.  I’m short only 880 yards!  Not bad.  I can make almost one sock or much shorter socks.  They are toe-up, I can stop when I run out of yarn.  If I’m lucky I can just finish the heel.

Forget it.  I just gave myself a massive headache.  This is why I don’t do socks.

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